There is a small town in my mind and although I must have left for a lifetime in the eyes of those I loved my heart remained drifting along its river.
I remember the moment the sun would rise as I did over those pale blue hills when I held another in my arms; her heart was a purer vision through those clear blue eyes than any view I could ever see, I’m certain of it.
There were days I would walk for miles to find nowhere; I found it one Sunday afternoon with a camera in my hand and a dormant procrastination setting into my conscience as I sat on a fence and watched the world go by, seemingly unmoving.
I remember the days before I left, the last walk up to the fort on the hill, the way we found a kingdom of our own, wellington boots allowing our feet stability in the fluent river; the only part of the place sure of itself.
I do not forget the easter around which we sat a campfire and I dissolved into thought of what we had built; the flames towering above even my own stature as faces became lost in something much beyond theirselves, much beyond our control should it lose its own.
I miss those days.
Yet ever I wonder, about that town and those people and how long its magic will fill hearts…
I will return home one day, if its still there, even though my family won’t be…I suppose you can hold onto nothing but yourself.
I know what I chose as I walked away, I know what caused it, it is of my own consequence that the one thing I was searching for can never be simply found…It’s going to break my heart if I ever wake up.
But for now I must find that I am content with science in a world where magic is replaced in so many hearts.
I will never cease in my letter writing, baking or writing with every word pouring from my mind straight from my heart.
I am ever wondering, ever enchanted, ever loving…in whichever form finds me.
”Just because everything’s changing, doesn’t mean its never been this way before.
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light.
Just because they can’t feel it too doesn’t mean you have to forget.
Let you’re memories grow stronger and stronger until they’re before your eyes…
You’ll come back when it’s over no need to say goodbye.”
-Regina Spektor, The Call