It’s been a year.
More precisely it will be 8 months and 16 days until I moved in.
Yet here I am divided, the day I’m most looking forward to, the day I move out.
I’ve had some fun. I’ve met some interesting people. More than anything I’ve poured myself into work.
Now, on the eve of my last exam my mind couldn’t be further from justice or morality, it’s on the way I always feel when things are about to change. When I have to say goodbye to a room and shut the door and lock the key. When dropping it into the box I create one, nicely labelled with it’s name; I tuck it away in a section, I deem in my mind, to be fitting.
I leave behind people I hold dear and some I would not care if I never saw again.
I’m a little bit heartbroken.
But I have to watch this sunset, I have to stand in it as the light eases out of the sky and the dark clouds fill my sight, because this is the last time in this place I will see it. This marks another end and a new beginning.
It marks the start of a big decision and thoughts of rolling down those blinds remind me of each night I sat watching the only countryside in view from the city, birds flying above as tears occasionally fell, in some part of my mind I’d discovered what regret was.
I never could bear a goodbye, I haven’t felt warm or anything but sadness in days. It’s like a funny type of grief that consumes me.
We all have secrets, but it’s time to close my blinds.
Goodnight, To a new tomorrow.